The Queen's Christmas Speech 2009

Christmas - One Year On

Upon being instructed to write whatever came into my head, I thought that we should just publicise the fact that it's now a year since the PC Christmas edition. What a year it has been. Thanks a lot peoples.

Christmas; an Acrostic Poem by Robert Holme, KBE

C - is for Christmas, the subject of this poem.
H - is for Happy, how I feel when writing poems.
R - is for Robert that's my name!
I - is for "I, Robert Holme."
S - is for Saviour, that's Jesus and me.
T - is for Tea, my favourite drink at Crimbo
M - is for Me, me me me me.
A - is for Apples, like in the mouth of a pig
S - is for Scrooge, my role model.

Thanks Robert for that amazing poem - Ed.

Christmas Carols

Don't Forget . . .

Carols in St George's Square - Christmas Eve
Assemble 6.15pm for 6.30pm Start

A Very Important Announcement From The Painter's Chronicle Team

Dear Painter's Chronicle Subscripients,

Please see follow below hyperlink to an important message from The Painter's Chronicle Team.

Important Announcement

Thanks,
The PC Board

In Dad's Shoes - Final Part

At last the big day arrived - work underground! My legs were like jelly when I first stepped into the cage for that first descent. The cage dropped like a rock, a terrifically fast descent which lasted three or four minutes. The older miners gave me plenty of encouragement and promised me I would be ok. They would look after me. This proved to be the case as I have found no stronger brotherhood of men all the rest of my life. When work is in such dangerous conditions often men have only the courage and loyalty of colleagues to rely on. These men worked together, lived alongside each other and spent free time with each other in the local Working Mens Clubs.

All the miners had soft spots for the pit ponies. The pit worked a 24 hour day with the miners working 8 hour shifts and so did the ponies. This meant that some miners worked regularly with certain ponies. The ponies lived down the pit and only came up for 2 weeks of the year when the pit closed for the August holiday. Many miners would bring little treats of grass or a carrot for their particular pony. The ponies could smell an apple as soon as you entered the stable and they would go mad whinnying and kicking. I was told by an old miner that if I should ever have the bad luck to be by myself in the tunnels when my cap light and safety light went out I should free my pony of its chains, hold on to its tail and tell it to “Go Home” and the pony would get me back safely.

My career in the pit lasted only 2 years. I had an accident and broke my arm very badly. This made me stop and think. I had lived amongst this community all my life and knew many old miners who were badly injured and could no longer work and there were some fatherless families thanks to the pit. It was a turning point for me - I never went back.

Matty's Malawi Diary - Part 2

It took about 2 hours to drive to Kasungu, passing a few towns on the way (one which was market day), but the one thing I noticed was that, outside the capital city, how quiet the roads were. You would see the occasional car, perhaps one or two every 10 minutes and then the occasional minibus (these being the only mode of public transport) but otherwise most people would walk or cycle everywhere. There was also a lot of people selling food on the side of the roads, this also included mouse kebabs (to make these they would set fire to shrubbery and then the smoke would drive the mice out, these would then be caught and cooked and then sold on the side of the road).

When I arrived in Kasungu I went to an office when my mum and the project workers had a meeting. After that we drove down to the Kasungu District Hospital where we went in and were showed around by one of the medical officers. Then hospital was like nothing I had ever seen, a queue of about 60 people waiting to get into the building and then inside sick people and pregnant women lying on the floor, waiting for service. In the hospital I went into the maternity ward, where I was shown data about the recent births and deaths and then shown in a room with all the beds in. Then I donated my gift to that hospital, funded by the money raised by The Painters Chronicle. After I left the hospital I went for lunch in the Kasungu Inn, where I enjoyed a meal of soup, vegetables and metze, the staple food for most Malawians which is a large dumpling like food made from maize. After lunch I went to the village of Santhe, where I went to a health clinic. I was showed around there and then there was a meeting between the MaiKhanda team and the people working for the Santhe health centre. After leaving there I headed right out into the scrubland to a village when I was greeted by singing, dancing and children crowding around the car. At that village I then got driven to their vegetable farm, a place where they are growing vegetables to try and encourage pregnant women to have a healthy diet.

After that we were driven to another village, which would be inaccessible without our 4x4 jeeps. In that village they had painted health messages on the houses to lessen the danger of disease. I was shown around that village and I saw some houses where pregnant women would stay in the latter stages of pregnancy. Then a band did a short performance for me under the shade of a mango tree. Then I presented my gift to the chief of the village which was some equipment for children who were going to school (pens, pencils, calculators etc.). Then I went back to the main village when there was a singing performance and also a comedy sketch. Then there were some speeches, and then I should everyone’s hand. A few hundred handshakes later I was invited into the chief’s house were I had some food, vegetables, fresh bananas and metze and also some Fanta (a drink, as well as Coke, you can get just about anywhere in Malawi). Then I left and drove back to Lilongwe in the dark (there are no street lamps in Malawi except on the road leading to the president’s office). The only light I saw were fires in remote villages in the distance.

In Dad's Shoes - Part 2

On the second day I was told I would be working in the Lamp room for the next three weeks. This was where every miner going down the pit had to collect his cap lamp and safety lamp. Each miner had a brass disc with their man number on it and this had to be moved from the out- board to the in-board so that a check could be kept on who was down the pit. If any man wanted to stay for overtime or do a double shift this information had to be telephoned from the pit bottom so that everyone was accounted for at all times. When the men came back up their discs moved back to the out-board and their lamps were cleaned and recharged.

My next assignment was in the Blacksmith’s shop. This was where the minecars used down the pit were repaired . The harness and chains for the pit ponies were also repaired as was other equipment for use on the pit top. We would sometimes have our legs pulled and be sent on a fool’s errand. I was sent to another workshop for “a long stand”.

Then it was on to the screens. This is where the coal came out of the pit and was washed and all the stone and other rubbish had to be removed. This was the dirtiest and dustiest job so far. My final training was in the stockyard where minecars were loaded with gear for underground.

Matty's Malawi Diary - Part 1

As the plane touched down in Johannesburg, the start of an amazing trip began. 24 hours before I was about 9400km away back in Yorkshire. But now I was in Johannesburg, South Africa.
A taxi ride to Manchester Airport then the short flight to London set me on my way. Then I relaxed in the BA First Class Lounge before leaving to catch my overnight plane to Johannesburg.

At about 11:30 I got on to my plane to Lilongwe, the capital of Malawi. The flight took about 12 hours to get to Lilongwe. When we arrived we drove into Lilongwe (some 20km from the airport) as we drove, I saw ripe watermelons and tomatoes, as well as raw carcass of goat on sale by then side of the roads. In the distance the scrubland stretch on for miles, but you could also see small villages, full of houses made out of mud. When we arrived in Lilongwe we got dropped off at the place where I was staying and then had a early night as I was very tired.

Then next morning I left at around 6:30am because today I was heading off to Kasungu, which was the capital of the district, also named Kasungu.

I was visiting Malawi because my Mum’s work (The Health Foundation) was on a visit there to see how their work on a project that aims to reduce maternal deaths in Malawi was developing. The project, (called MaiKhanda, meaning Mother and Baby in the Chichewa, the second language of Malawi) runs in Lilongwe, Kasungu and Salima, a town near Lake Malawi.

Matty

In Dad's Shoes

ED: For the next three weeks, PC Subscripient John Moss will be sharing his accounts of working in the mines of Normanton. Mining is a big historical feature of recent Yorkshire history, and something that is well documented. Please see below John's first installment of working in the mines and log on to www.painterschronicle.co.uk next Saturday to see how John's second day was.

IN DAD’S SHOES
By John E. Moss

I was born in 1952, the middle child of a family of seven. My father was a coal miner also his brother, Laurence, who lodged with us. Their father had been a coal hewer before them. Our town, Normanton, offered three main occupations the railway, farming or the pits. Farming was hard work and poorly paid, the railway gave the opportunity to rise from a lowly waged porter to a highly paid driver but as my family connections were with the pits that was my destiny.

I had attended the local Secondary Modern School and as my 15th birthday approached I applied for employment at the local pit. After a 10 minute interview I was told a job was mine so when I left school on the Friday I started work on the Monday morning. I had to attend Newton Hill Training Centre at Wakefield for 6 weeks along with all the other new trainees. Here we learned how to operate different equipment and drive diesel locomotives. Our first taste of underground working was in the mock tunnels which were made to be as true to the real thing as possible. At the end of the training period I was told I was to work at Parkhill Colliery and to report there at 6.30 am on the following Monday.

When the big day dawned I was up at 4.45am in readiness to leave at 5am for the 50 minute bike ride across the fields to the pit. I was scared but excited at the same time. I found myself along with two other trainees being shown around by the Training Officer. We toured the pit head, workshops and canteen before being given the keys to our 2 lockers in the shower room (one for dirty clothes and one for clean clothes).

Fishing For Bishops - An Update From Max

Fishing For Bishops are moving to new untested pastures this weekend as they depart on an adventure to the misty lands of Preston to record their first demo. After the Manager of Preston FM saw the quintet at their cracking first gig on the 26th, he was more than happy to offer them a days recording in the radio studio in return for an hours set on the station and the band are set to travel down this coming Sunday.

‘Things look bright’ says manager Billy Painter ‘the band has a fair few gigs on the horizon and can’t wait to share their funky, adrenaline beating music with anyone and everyone.’

The demo should be available soon, so feel free to ask any of the band or related members for a copy of their upbeat, skankadelic music!

Halifax RLFC Vs Barrow Raiders - The Grand Final

A load of Painter's Chronicle people are going to this event to cheer the Blue and Whites on, if you'd like to join us please contact Billy on billypainter@painterschronicle.co.uk ASAP and he'll sort out tickets and coach travel for you. Be there for this great event!

Fishing for Bishops Gig

Tomorrow the debut performance of Fishing for Bishops will take place at 9.00 at the Pulse Bar. The band have been working up to this for many months (though only a fraction of those were spent actually working) and hopefully the gig will be a success. With a varied and alternative (thinking of one particular song here) set list, it promises to be a great night. Probably.

Luddenden Calendar 2010

Entering its 9th year the Luddenden Calendar is now available to buy. Featuring images from the Luddenden Valley and surrounding areas it helps raise approaching £3,000 each year for good causes supported by the Mayor of Luddenden. The Painter's Chronicle have some to sell, with each calendar costing £3 each. However, not all of the £3 will go back to the Mayor's Fund, £2 will go straight into the Calder High School Pace Egg fund, as they are represented in this years calendar. The Pace Eggers would be extremely grateful if you could help both causes by purchasing a calendar from the Pace Eggers. To order online, email info@painterschronicle.co.uk

Matty Rose Returns

Matty Rose has returned from his trip to Malawi.

Full report to follow . . .

500 Faces of Hebden Bridge - 400 Up!

Jason Elliott's 500 Faces of Hebden Bridge is now fully in motion, as he has now reached 400 pictures! Only 100 to go for this fantastic project to be complete, if you'd like to be a part of this project, get in contact with any PC personel and they'll help you get enrolled as a face!

Now sit back, relax and enjoy the 400 faces already captured!

Halifax RLFC Vs Featherstone Rovers

Halifax RLFC will play Featherstone Rovers this Thursday in the Cooperative Championship Grand Final Eliminator. If Halifax win this match they'll be through to the grand final where they will play the much fancied Barrow Raiders. The game kicks off at 7.30 at The Shay Stadium, Halifax and will be shown live on Sky Sports. The game promises to be a great encounter, and there will be a huge turn out. To find out more about the game log onto http://www.halifaxrlfc.co.uk/

Do not miss!

Ben Scarf Leads PC Fantasy Football

Ben Scarf has stretched his lead at the top of the Painter's Chronicle Subscripients Fantasy Football League even further this week, scoring a whopping 69 points! Ben has been consistently at the top of the table and with second placed Lewis Finney 29 points away in 2nd, it is going to be tough to catch him! Will Chadwick, Matt Ball, Jack Gormley and Sam Bailey are all still in the mix having recently hit the 300 points total. However, like they say, it's not how you start, it is how you finish!

Matty Sets Off

Yesterday, Matty began his trip to Malawi - and started the first in a series of three flights which would take him to Lilongwe, the longest of which was a twelve hour flight. On arrival he noticed that there were monkeys in the trees, and that the countryside was very beautiful.

The picture shows Matty with the gifts which subscripients of the Painter's Chronicle helped fund - with over £170 raised. Thank you to all who contributed.

Message From Matty Rose

Dear Fellow Subscripients,

I am posting to ask if you want to make a donation for a very worthwhile cause;
On the 12th September 2009 I am going on a visit to Malawi, a developing country in Sub-Saharan Africa. Malawi is a former British Colony that gained independence in 1964. Malawi is a stable multi-party democracy which faces many challenges.

Facts & Figures

Malawi has High Infant Mortality and High Maternal Mortality Rates and a Low Life Expectancy

Malawi Infant Mortality Rate: 92 Deaths per 1000 live births ~ UK Infant Mortality rate: 5 Deaths per 1000 live births

Malawi Maternal Mortality Rate: 1120 mothers die every 100,000 live births ~ UK Maternal Mortality Rate: 7 mothers die every 100,000 live births

Malawi Life Expectancy: 43.82 years ~ UK Life Expectancy: 79.01 years

During my time in Malawi I will be visiting local schools and hospitals and I wondered if any of you would be kind enough to make a pledge/donation to be used on gifts for the schools and hospitals.

How to Donate/Pledge:

Personally– give your donation in a sealed envelope to Matty Rose (Year 10 Calder High), Billy Painter (Calder VI) or to Isaac Rose (Greenhead College) by 10th September 2009.

Email – email your personal details and the amount you wish to pledge to info@painterschronicle.co.uk and we'll collect!

Post – post a cheque with the amount you wish to pledge to 2 Hollock Lee, Cragg Road, Hebden Bridge, West Yorkshire, HX7 5RT

Any donations at all would be warmly welcomed!

Thanks in Anticipation,
Matty Rose

Simply The Best!

The Painter's Chronicle Team would like to offer their congratulations to the subscripients who received their GCSE results yesterday.

Surpassing all expectation, students at Calder High School in Mytholmroyd acheived the best GCSE grades in the schools History. Well done to you all, good luck with whatever you do next!

Something for the Whole Family

We thought I'd share this with you.

Burnley FC

At the risk of annoying our readers who don't care for the excitement and drama that comes with the new football season here is our latest poll.

Local team Burnley have put up a strong start but have always been favourites for the drop, whats your opinion on this team's chances. Whatever your opinion on the team their victory over Manchester United has to have proven that they can play with the big boys and nobody can deny that the crowd at Turf Moor have also proven to be a big asset.

The Chairman Plays at the Royal Albert Hall

This week, the Chairman was one of the thousand ukulele players to descend upon the Royal Albert Hall, for Prom 45 of the BBC Proms. The Proms are a huge, summer-long, festival of music (mostly classical) but this Tuesday, the Royal Albert Hall hosted the eight-strong Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain. Packed out to an audience of six thousand, the "Orchestra" sung and strummed their way through over an hour of music, ranging from "Teenage Dirtbag" to the "Ride of the Valkyries". The climax of the evening was when the audience were invited to participate in an "arrangement of a part of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony for one thousand and eight ukuleles." The result was a unexpectedly gentle rendition of Ode to Joy, with the thousand ukuleles failing to drown out the eight amplified ones on stage. It was very surreal.

The concert ended with a banging of ukuleles and stamping of feet, as the roaring audience demanded an encore. Which was what they got, in the form of that classic Yorkshire "folk-song", Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush. Sung in a jazzy style by the Orchestra's musical director, George Hinchcliffe, who hails from the "Socialist Republic of South Yorkshire."

Roses Wonders On Top!

The first Barclay's Premier League fixtures have been played and Matty Rose and Roses Wonders have taken an early lead in the Painter's Chronicle Fantasy football league!

Roses Wonders - Matty Rose

BradLufcLufc - Brad Holt

Higgert's Barmy Army - David Hyatt

JTB Utd - Sai Ho Li

Sufolk 'n' Close - Annie Scarf

Bob's Baskets - Akpo Sodje

Fortune Favours Finn - Lewis Finney

Superlative Passion - Calum Paramor

SuperScarf - Ben Scarf

Ballistics - Matthew Ball

Ac Fc - Aidan Clegg

FC Halifax Town - Joshua Reynolds

Lifes a Breeze FC - Josh Breeze

Wilber FC - Will Chadwick

Nameless United - Jem Paramor

Jack's Spooners - Jack Collins

Hanging Heaton FC - Alex Guermech

Norfolk 'n' Good - Richard Matthews

We Were Leeds - Wayne Ogden

Igneous Intrusions -Paul Williams

The Comeback Kings - Sam Bailey

Painter's Pick - Billy Painter

Calderdale Dragons - Joe Burns

Slough Solders - Isaac Rose

The Cunning Stunts -Jacob Clayton

FC Halifax Town - George Brookes

The Blowins - Kevin Wellings

Bumblebee FC - Ben Green

ALFC - Alex Christodoulou

Nasty Hobbits - Luke Fisher

The Healthy Tuggers - Michael Burnip

Calder 6 FC - Oliver Bairstow

Painter's Chronicle Fantasy Football

You're invited to play in the Painter's Chronicle Fantasy Premier League called The PC Subscripients.

If you aren't already playing the game then you can register here

Once you have logged in and entered your team, click on the 'Leagues'link you can find on the right of the page. Now enter the code 40089-234883 to join the private league.

Let's get as many teams as possible, join now as the game starts on Saturday!

Even Chairman Rose is entering a team!

Good Luck!

Sven Goran-Painter

Worldwide Correspondence

In what is a first from the Painter's Chronicle our CEO Matthew Dawson brings to you our first Trans-Atlantic correspondence:

Well it's been a while but it's always nice to check up on the PC website where ever you are in the world. So today I write to you from a shady study in a leafy Connecticut suburb with the buzz of the air conditioning and some cool jazz ringing in my ears. This article gives me a great opportunity to look back over what I have seen and learnt about this great country over the last couple of weeks and a chance to look forward to what I have yet to experience.

The first thing that strikes you landing in New York is how well you know the place. The yellow taxis and the big SUV's full of rap and big African Americans seem so familiar from the years of culture you've absorbed from this place and when confronted with such places as the World Trade Center site it's almost impossible to comprehend what happened on that tragic spot. It has been turned into what appears to be any other building site with huge billboards presenting the exciting new projects that will rise from the ground and only brief reminders, such as souvenir book sellers, bring back the horrors.

In terms of other widely held beliefs about this place many are true, especially the fact that everybody uses cars to get everywhere. Drive-thru banks are testament to this and mean that you can deposit money, talk about loans or probably even get a new mortgage all from the comfort of your own car. This mentality does, in certain cases, create soulless towns with no real center and just a collection of malls and fast food joints. But if worked well it can produce the perfect convenience they crave with a nice town attached too.

Finally it's incredible to see how patriotic they are. I think it comes historically from the fact that in the beginning they were trying tirelessly to define themselves from the english, but it's everywhere. After standing for a very dramatic version of the national anthem last night you can see in the peoples eyes as they stare proudly at the flag, how much they love this country. But really flags are the main instrument and every house, business and government building will have one if not many .

I saw a particular extreme yesterday at the Connecticut State Congress where every senator had a little flag upon his desk which when multiplied by 100 or so causes a huge stimulatory overload of red, blue and white leaving you dazed but feeling kinda happy that they can so easily express these views without the stigma attached to flag flying in England.

So I hope all the Subscripients have a great summer and maybe I'll find time to post another update on here in the future.

Matthew Dawson CEO

Metro Active Bus Travel For Just £1!

£1 all-day bus travel offer for under-19s today and every day until the end of August!

Up until the end of August, anyone with a Metro Young Person’s or Scholar’s Photocard will be able to buy a Metro Active ticket and travel all day by bus for just £1.

Use Metro Active to travel anywhere in West Yorkshire after 9.30 am on weekdays and at any time during weekends and Bank Holidays.

Under 11s can take advantage of Metro Active ticket if they are accompanied by a full fare-paying adult.

The Next Election

With terrible by-election results today announced in Norwich, we want to know if you think that Labour can pull back the support of the country or if the Conservatives now can expect an inevitable victory. In the middle of a huge financial crisis it isn’t surprising that the government is unpopular but countries facing prospects which are just as bad still maintain popular leaders. Does this mean that Gordon Brown has handled he whole crisis badly or just that leaders such as Germany's Angela Merkel can dodge the bullet more effectively. But most importantly how well has David Cameron capitalised on the crisis and does the country believe that he can sort it out?

PC Website Update

As you will probably know the Painter's Chronicle Website has entered a golden period in its history with viewing and commenting figures off the scale. This, however, was not enough for the newly formed Website Forward Planning & Development Committee, who recently met to discuss ways of improving the quantity and, just as importantly, the quality of the posts on the site. With this in mind they have produced a detailed timetable of publication for the site so that now you can know exactly when your favourite articles will be hitting the web. Here is the timetable of release:

Monday - Video of the Week

Tuesday - The Big Questions

Wednesday - Editors Midweek Quote

Thursday - Politics this Week

Friday - The Subscripients Day

Saturday - International Correspondents Day

Sunday - Sports Roundup

*New timetable to commence on 1st August 2009

So even if you log on just once or twice a week we would appreciate your support in helping build this website to dizzying new heights that we know we can reach. So think of the hit count as the bricks and the comments you leave as the mortar, and with this, together, we can build this dream up to the skies.

We've now reached 10'000, lets go for 100'000!

Onwards and Upwards!

The Website Forward Planning & Development Committee

Painter's Chronicle Facebook Fan Page

Join the Painter's Chronicle Facebook Fan Page and show your support to the Painter's Chronicle! This will also ensure you get the latest news, views and gossip from your favourite establishment! So don't delay . . . . join today!

Painter's Chronicle Website Reaches 10'000 Hits!

7 Months . . . 197 Days . . . 122 Posts and The Painter's Chronicle website has now officially received 10'000 hits! Those statistics show that http://www.painterschronicle.co.uk/ receives, on average, 51 hits every single day! That statistic shows that 25% of the Painter's Chronicle Subscripient list log on to our humble website every single day! That statictic shows that the Painter's Chronicle website is consistently attracting people to read our varied selection of posts, and people want that extra dose of PC outside of our PDF editions . . . and to that all we can say is . . . FANTASTIC!

I am sure you're all wondering who the 10'000th visitor to the website was, and we're proud to say that it is one of the original PC subscripients, Matthew Bladon.

I know it is the old Painter's Chronicle cliche, but, thank you for your continued support and all we can say now is; Next stop 100'000!!

Hold Your Nerve People!

Hold steady all, the website is about to make 10,000 hits. A major achievement if you ask me, we have started to grow since our humble beginnings half a year ago (website wise). Also, it is a fitting moment for this to happen, as the PC itself is now two years old! How exciting. Two years.

Anyway, whatever - make your own deductions chaps.

Big Questions

Should taxpayer money be put into anti-rain schemes, which would see the rain-clouds moved to Scotland?

It's a problem which all British people have to endure, the seemingly never ending rain that pours downwards from the heavens. There are many theories as to why Britain experiences so much rain, from the maritime climate and the proximity to the sea, to some kind of Divine Punishment for the sinful history of Britain. Now, a team from Cambridge University, has come up with a solution. After years of research, the team concluded that it would be feasible for the British Government to invest in a fleet of dirigibles, which would be equipped with giant fans - the force of which would be used to push the rain-clouds.

After long debate, it was decided that the rain-clouds should be pushed into Scotland, and when Sky News interviewed the leading scientist on the team, Richard Cauliflower, he defended his position, saying that, "Obviously it would be ideal if we could push the rain into the sea, however there are several meteorological reasons which would prevent this. Rain-clouds can only be pushed onto land, and we concluded that the only suitable land available is the uplands of Scotland. After all, the Scottish make up an insignificant proportion of Britain's population, and are genetically stronger, and should be glad that they are taking the bullet for the English."

Campaign groups, such as ScotCare (the Charity for Scot's in London) have raised concerns about this scheme being yet another way the English oppress the Scottish. Alex Salmond, the Scottish First Minister has also voiced his opposition, saying that this "is yet another clear sign that the sooner Scotland becomes independent, the better."

The Government has ordered a review into the possible scheme, and has already earmarked a sum of forty eight billion pounds for the scheme. The first dirigible is expected to be operational in late 2011.

10 Years Later

After their recent trip to the capital the PC directors mused on where they saw themselves living in the future and whether the bright lights of the city showed more appeal than the peace of the country. But maybe the compromise of the suburbs is more your thing or do you see yourself looking down on the rest of us with a place on the moon. We want to know where you think you’ll be.

PC Team Hit Capital

This week four members of the PC team visited London in an attempt to understand this crazy city and how it affects our lives. The visit incorporated The City and the Houses of Parliament amongst other things and the group consisted of The Chairman, CEO, Co-Editor and Economics Editor and are seen here in the inner square of the House of Commons which required numerous security checks and constant wearing of an ID badge to access. The team visited the House of Lords, which made them feel strangely alive after witnessing the hoards of sleepy old men, and also a military ISTAR meeting which they were ejected from so that the top brass could speak more openly about secret military information. In general they were shocked and delighted how easy it is to get into the inner layers of parliament and sit in on various important committees. Also The City was awe-inspiring, as huge monuments to wealth rose up above you, but the team felt a little out of place without their suits and were actually thrown out of a restaurant supposedly because of a City of London law but one could assume there were other motives. But overall what stuck out most was what an exciting and vibrant city it was and how somehow you feel a little empty after leaving it.

Happy Birthday Jess and Christian!

Painter's Chronicle subscripients Jess Woodhead and Christian Moorhead (the two "heads") today celebrate their 16th and 17th birthdays! Jess is the half of the Pace Egg buglers, along with Clara Collett and Christian was officially the 3rd subscripient to have ginger hair! Happy Birthday to both from all at the Chronicle, and we hope you both have a brilliant day!

"Devoted Subscripient" Mr Ball Takes Part In PC Interview

Devoted subscripient, Mr Ball, today took part in the first ever "Five Minutes With . . . " interview hosted by the Painter's Chronicle team. Chief Editor, Billy Painter and Vice-Chairman, Calum Paramor were the interviewees, and set out to record an interview suited to subscripients all over the world. The duo captured an extremely interesting and thought provoking interview with the Calder High School headteacher, and can't wait to release the interview to the subscipients! The picture shows Mr Ball proudly sporting his new found love, the official PC T-Shirt. A big thank you goes out to Mr Ball for his time, and we're proud to have him supporting our humble newsletter. *The interview will be posted on the Painter's Chronicle website within the next few days . . . watch this space!

Johnny McQuade - Happy Birthday

Painter's Chronicle Co-Editor and Graphics Coordinator, Johnny McQuade today celebrates his 16th birthday. Johnny is officially the youngest member of the PC Board, but his wait for this almighty day has been worthwhile. At long long last Johnny can buy his very own lottery ticket and he is now just one year away from being able to drive a car! Happy Birthday Johnny, have a splendid day and on behalf of all the PC readers, we appreciate your input immensely.

Not In My Name Petition - Final Call

In just two weeks the BNP will be taking their seats in the European Parliament. We need to send the strongest possible message that they are not there in our name.

Over 80,000 people have already done just this by signing the "Not in my Name" petition - the organisers of this fantastic initiative still need your help to make sure that over 100,000 have signed this petition by the time the BNP go to Strasbourg.

They're set up a simple tool to let you do this - please invite your friends to join the campaign: http://action.hopenothate.org.uk/morenamesneeded they need your help in showing that Griffin and Brons don't represent us - that they don't speak for Britain.

The leader of the organisation is currently organising who they're going to select to hand the petition in to at the European Parliament on July 14th and he wants to make sure that as many people as possible have signed our petition before then.

The Editor's Mid-Week Quote

This weeks mid-week quote comes from Henry Ford, and is a quote that I feel we can all take a lot from. This quotation signals that the human generation fails to engage in thoughtful thinking as much as they should. Yes, we as humans of this planet do achieve remarkable things, and sometimes even counter the impossible, but if we all spent a little more time than we already do thinking about the things that we do already and the things that we could possibly do, the rewards and achievements in our world would be much greater.

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason so few engage in it."

Wimbledon Final - Federer Wins

So it's over. In an epic final in which the momentum shifted many times from player to player Roger Federer finally broke Andy Roddick after an epic 14-16 final set. Roddick was the underdog, which automatically gains him support from many Brits, but he did knock out our man Murray. And Federer was the one on the edge of history with everyone waiting to see the best tennis player, today and probably ever, finally prove he is the greatest. Whoever you supported it was a great match which will undoubtedly be remembered as a classic and will always be cited as the moment Federer defeated history.

Happy Birthday Janet

Painter's Chronicle subscripient Janet Oosthuysen celebrates her birthday today. Proving that like the finest of wines, the best of people only get better with age. Happy birthday Janet, enjoy your portrait of Stevie G.

A Rather Good Video

A rather good video here, which I really like. It's not only rather good, but is a rathergood video too, which are the makers of many funny and amusing videos, ranging from the adventures of the Blode to "we liked the moon".

Big Questions

Are Creationists evidence of evolution?

It's a familiar argument, creationism against evolution but what if these two theories are linked? Well that is exactly what scientists at Oxford University are trying to find out with a controversial new study claiming that Creationists themselves are evidence of evolution. Prof Martin Steeple explained why saying "in their obvious blindness in the face of what is now scientifically definite the creationists are showing signs of severe neurotic denial which we found was a prevalent feature in species which were about to die out". They summarise that "in their decreasing numbers and obvious madness to normal mating partners they are in danger of becoming extinct, this proves that natural selection is leaving them behind as other humans accept the facts and move on." Understandably the British Creationist Society were outraged saying "show us the proof! Clearly God has sent this study as a test to our patience and we hope it's authors will pray for salvation". The AAC has also become embroiled in the row claiming "Darwin is now one step closer to taking over the world with his lies" but we want to know what you the PC readers think, are these people inadvertently evidence of what they seek to deny?

Glastonbury

Note that all Glastonbury updates will be added to the old article below.

A Minted Experiance

Robert P. Holme KBE

There's something quite magical about mint. The cool refreshing blast of flavour, which is at once sweet, but leaves a fresh and cool taste in ones mouth, especially after one breathes in. The sweet sensation of minty goodness, which seems to strain every sinew with it's pure beauty.

Mint creams are heavenly; the soft chocolate, the lightly chewy mint cream. Delicious. Mouth watering. Like my poem.

A Lamb to the Slaughter

Minted meat. O minted meat

How still we see thee lie

A dove! Thy deep and dreamless heat

alone a-moun the sky. But lo!

breaded cloud-fall doth tumble.

Tumble, tumble, rumble.

Minted meat.

Glastonbury

As many of you will know Glastonbury festival is now well under way and The Painter's Chronicle is pleased to bring you up to date with the festival with the help of our team of correspondants who are currently reporting back to the PC newsroom. Ben Lomax-Thrope seemed in awe as he reported back from the middle of The Specials set which he described as "amazing" and summed up the festival so far, calling it "muddy, boomin' and Cormacless" refering to the unexpected absence of one of the team. This transnational correspondance is a first for the PC and we hope to keep you up to date with all the best Glastonbury news straight from the farm. Update: The PC team were interested to know how the death of Michael Jackson was being felt at the festival but our correspondant revealed a far from despondant mood saying that "hot girls were distributing the news so it was OK". Today (Saturday) our correspondant reported from the middle of the Pendulum set which he urged PC readers to check out online (follow the link in the title of this piece). Update: Last night our correspondants missed out on Bruce Springsteen, who gave an incredible performance to a huge audience, but saw a little known band called Big Hand who have performed in Hebden Bridge and have a wide selection of great dance tunes. They claim to have stayed up until the sun was shining brightly and so when we last spoke to them they were enjoying a well earned rest. They were all looking forward to the headline band Madness who perform tonight.

Painter Appoints CEO!

The Painter's Chronicle are delighted to announce the appointment of Matthew Dawson as the new Chief Executive Officer of The Painter's Chronicle.

On his appointment, The Editor, Billy Painter said, "This adds a more professional and organised outlook to the PC and I am delighted that we have managed to obtain Matthew for the role, due to his excellent leadership and business qualities"

Matthew will be working primarily on the website but will also play a strong role in supporting The Board and more currently employing a new Senior Reporter to fill his old role.

Matthew was ecstatic on his new role and eager to begin, saying, "This is a new era for the website, and I hope to expand on the already phenominal sucess we have already acheived"

The Painter's Chronicle wish Matthew all the best in his new role.

Disaster Zone!

A throwback to Easter this year . . .

Matthew Dawson reported:

If mankind were meant to endure the cold we would never have lost our fur. This evolutionary message has come back to haunt us. They say the cold came from Russia but no-one knows for sure. What was certain is that the weather it produced could have turned a snowman into a shivering wreck. The snow quickly descended and left everything in a soft white carpet. The problem was that this was a carpet of death. The weather worsened and icy commuters braved the valleys roads whilst others gave up the fight and resigned themselves to natures onslaught hoping, praying, that she would show mercy. But the snow continued and as brave men tried in vain to fend it off with salt the reserves started to deplete. Man was left with no cards to play and no where to hide. Nothing was certain except that the day was heading towards disaster. We were lucky, the weather retreated leaving man to see the consequences, and as the snow melted away we were grateful that we had been spared. This story shows how precarious our hold on normality really can be. What we can learn from this event is for you to decide but what was always clear is how close this almost was to disaster.

The Calder High Prom '09

Michael Jackon Dies

Michael Jackson

29th August 1958 – 25th June 2009

Question of the Week

Should Babies be Gagged in Public?
We can all relate to the problem, but how many of us have actually taken action against the inevitable screeching baby that can ruin any music concert or film without warning. Well the controversial group Adults Against Screaming are calling on the government to introduce legislation requiring cotton gags to be placed on babies at any public event in which sound is an issue. Andy Thomas from the group says "parents would argue a dummy is enough yet their children still ruin many a night out for hard working adults everywhere, this is the best solution". But Mary Hilden MP is fighting against the motion claiming that "babies like the rest of us have a right to free speech, the fact they can't produce words yet should not be used against them". The National Union of Nursery Workers called on all parents to fight against this motion saying "they are classing babies everywhere as second class citizens". But as always we want to know what you, the PC readers think about this issue, should we gag our babies?

Source: ADP News

MYP Presents Major Political Gift

In a Historic Moment not just for himself, but for our entire democratic system, Calum Paramor MYP is here shown presenting Miss Newman (history teacher/obsessive powerpoint creator) with a poster consisting of every single British Prime Minister which (sadly missing from our photo) also had an additional face glued to the bottom, that of Calum himself. This poster came to represent the ups and downs of GCSE history, as the ripped corner will testify, and this is why it makes a fitting present for Miss Newman on the occasion of her move to London to seek new riches. We all hope this poster reminds her of what she has left behind.

Happy Birthday Andrew!

Painter's Chronicle subscripient Andrew Manley today celebrates his birthday. Andrew lives in Wakefield and is a deputy headteacher at a primary school. Happy Birthday Andrew, have a sensational day!

Loose Change

Loose Change is a landmark documentary which casts doubt on the real causes of 9-11. Even if you just watch the first 5 minutes you'll learn of some shocking irregularities and it will undoubtedly make you think differently about the events of that day. Millions have been forced to question the official view of 9-11 and hopefully you, the PC reader, will question it too. As always, feel free to express your views on this issue.

Political Comedy Week - Day 5 - Rory Bremner

Yet another throwback to 2008, this time a review of that year! On the Andrew Marr show, midwinter last year.

The Great Cookalong (kinda live)

It is not often that the cultured Chairman Rose sits down to a meal that surprises and delights him so you can imagine my surprise when after taking his first tentative bite his face lit up with delight. The meal was simple yet of elaborate tastes and was essentially a potato fish pie with peas and roast potatoes on top. Our intention had been to video this experience so that the PC subscripients could join in with the culinary extravagance but alas today was not to be the day. But what would you like to see cooked in the PC kitchen. Anything goes and we will try and cook anything you suggest, however bizarre, and produce a video of the event. So send us in your favourite recipes and we'll try and feed it to the Chairman for your entertainment.

Political Comedy Week - The Onion

A flashback to the election campaign 2008, between Barack Obama and John McCain. What do you think we should do with these Obama supporters?

The Editor's Mid-Week Quote

I am delighted to announce a new regular feature on the Painter's Chronicle website, "The Editor's Mid-Week Quote" This feature will include me posting some of my favourite quotations on the website every Wedndesday, to give all viewers an opportunity to engage in a few moments of thought.

This weeks quote comes from Nelson Mandela, a man who has brought peace and harmony to the world, and made the world a better place to live for our generation.

"Sport has the power to change the world. It has the power to inspire in a way that little else does. It speaks to youth in a language they understand. Sport can create hope where once there was despair"

Fishing For Bishops - Update

Fishing For Bishops is progressing quickly these days with the exams coming to an end and everyone generally having a lot more free time.

Fishing For Bishops has a knew and ever growing Facebook Page, so please become a fan, and leave comments. To access this fine page follow this link: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=581216272&ref=profile#/group.php?gid=87608604795&ref=ts

We have written 2 new songs over the last couple of weeks and Fishing For Bishops are now ready to rock the dance floor of local venues with a selection of our sparkling soulful zorbic ska!

We have had a couple of offers from places such as the Trades Club. So keep logging onto the Painter's Chronicle website, our MySpace and the new Facebook page to find out more confirmed dates.

Ben Lomax-Thorpe

Question of the Week

Should there be a law against fat men taking their tops off?
There was heated debate today in the House of Commons over the big question of the summer. As the sun comes out this summer should we also let fat men take their bellies out? Michael Draper MP insisted that "these men believe that their bodies are youthful and attractive, we need a way of telling them they're wrong". But Carol Harlem MP stood up for fat men everywhere saying "They have a right to bare chests, and besides we all find it quite amusing" but the reaction from the press was less enthusiastic with the Daily Mail claiming "this is a government plot, first bellies, next thing we'll all be forced to wear burkhas". The debate continues but here at the PC we’re giving you a voice. Should this practice be outlawed?

Chairman Rose - Halifax RLFC Guest Appearance

On a day where many special guests visited the Shay Stadium to watch Halifax RLFC entertain Barrow Raiders, there was only really one that caught the eye, Chairman Rose. In the crowd of just uder 3000 was the Henry Diaper, HRLFC oldest supporter, Steve Long, Frank Sinatra tribute act, Lord Mayor of Calderdale, Arshad Mahmood and Gareth Oliver, Britain's Got Talent semi finalist, the long list of red carpet guests would not have been completed though without the PC team. Joining regular Fax fan, Billy, was Chairman Rose and young apprentice, Matthew Rose. Chairman Rose has a keen interest in the sport of rugby league and hopes to attend many more Halifax RLFC games in the future. The Board were delighted to be in town for this event, and are pleased to announce that the PC will be running a rugby league feature in the upcoming summer edition.

Now It's Time For The Big One

So he did it. In a victory that wasn't just man on man but a battle of national pride between Britain and our old friends America. They fought for less than two hours and in the end Andy Murray lifted the Queens Club trophy leaving James Blake with a conciliatory piece of modern art of which he seemed quite bemused. Now Murray has claimed his first win on Grass attention naturally moves to his chances at next weeks Wimbledon which promises to be his biggest challenge yet. But something still seems to be lacking, memories of Tim Henman matches are of fanatical crowds and the feeling of the whole country riding the same emotional roller coaster as Tim, yet with Murray the crowd hardly raised a whisper in support. Let’s hope the country shows our genuinely world class tennis hero support in the weeks to come.

A Nice Cup of Tea

Last Monday saw the sixtieth anniversary of the publication of Nineteen Eighty-Four - the ground breaking final work of the writer, broadcaster and journalist Eric Arthur Blair - better known as George Orwell. Nineteen Eighty-Four has had a profound impact on our culture and our language - bringing in words like "Big Brother," "Room 101," and "Doublethink." So to celebrate the anniversary of such a momentous work, the Painter's Chronicle has decided to publish a work of George Orwell which we feel corresponds very well with our own ideals. It's called; A Nice Cup of Tea.

____________________________

Nice Cup of Tea
By George Orwell
Evening Standard, 12 January 1946.

If you look up 'tea' in the first cookery book that comes to hand you will probably find that it is unmentioned; or at most you will find a few lines of sketchy instructions which give no ruling on several of the most important points.
This is curious, not only because tea is one of the main stays of civilization in this country, as well as in Eire, Australia and New Zealand, but because the best manner of making it is the subject of violent disputes.

When I look through my own recipe for the perfect cup of tea, I find no fewer than eleven outstanding points. On perhaps two of them there would be pretty general agreement, but at least four others are acutely controversial. Here are my own eleven rules, every one of which I regard as golden:

First of all, one should use Indian or Ceylonese tea. China tea has virtues which are not to be despised nowadays — it is economical, and one can drink it without milk — but there is not much stimulation in it. One does not feel wiser, braver or more optimistic after drinking it. Anyone who has used that comforting phrase 'a nice cup of tea' invariably means Indian tea.

Secondly, tea should be made in small quantities — that is, in a teapot. Tea out of an urn is always tasteless, while army tea, made in a cauldron, tastes of grease and whitewash. The teapot should be made of china or earthenware. Silver or Britanniaware teapots produce inferior tea and enamel pots are worse; though curiously enough a pewter teapot (a rarity nowadays) is not so bad.

Thirdly, the pot should be warmed beforehand. This is better done by placing it on the hob than by the usual method of swilling it out with hot water.

Fourthly, the tea should be strong. For a pot holding a quart, if you are going to fill it nearly to the brim, six heaped teaspoons would be about right. In a time of rationing, this is not an idea that can be realized on every day of the week, but I maintain that one strong cup of tea is better than twenty weak ones. All true tea lovers not only like their tea strong, but like it a little stronger with each year that passes — a fact which is recognized in the extra ration issued to old-age pensioners.

Fifthly, the tea should be put straight into the pot. No strainers, muslin bags or other devices to imprison the tea. In some countries teapots are fitted with little dangling baskets under the spout to catch the stray leaves, which are supposed to be harmful. Actually one can swallow tea-leaves in considerable quantities without ill effect, and if the tea is not loose in the pot it never infuses properly.

Sixthly, one should take the teapot to the kettle and not the other way about. The water should be actually boiling at the moment of impact, which means that one should keep it on the flame while one pours. Some people add that one should only use water that has been freshly brought to the boil, but I have never noticed that it makes any difference.

Seventhly, after making the tea, one should stir it, or better, give the pot a good shake, afterwards allowing the leaves to settle.

Eighthly, one should drink out of a good breakfast cup — that is, the cylindrical type of cup, not the flat, shallow type. The breakfast cup holds more, and with the other kind one's tea is always half cold before one has well started on it.

Ninthly, one should pour the cream off the milk before using it for tea. Milk that is too creamy always gives tea a sickly taste.

Tenthly, one should pour tea into the cup first. This is one of the most controversial points of all; indeed in every family in Britain there are probably two schools of thought on the subject. The milk-first school can bring forward some fairly strong arguments, but I maintain that my own argument is unanswerable. This is that, by putting the tea in first and stirring as one pours, one can exactly regulate the amount of milk whereas one is liable to put in too much milk if one does it the other way round.

Lastly, tea — unless one is drinking it in the Russian style — should be drunk without sugar. I know very well that I am in a minority here. But still, how can you call yourself a true tealover if you destroy the flavour of your tea by putting sugar in it? It would be equally reasonable to put in pepper or salt. Tea is meant to be bitter, just as beer is meant to be bitter. If you sweeten it, you are no longer tasting the tea, you are merely tasting the sugar; you could make a very similar drink by dissolving sugar in plain hot water.

Some people would answer that they don't like tea in itself, that they only drink it in order to be warmed and stimulated, and they need sugar to take the taste away. To those misguided people I would say: Try drinking tea without sugar for, say, a fortnight and it is very unlikely that you will ever want to ruin your tea by sweetening it again.

These are not the only controversial points to arise in connexion with tea drinking, but they are sufficient to show how subtilized the whole business has become. There is also the mysterious social etiquette surrounding the teapot (why is it considered vulgar to drink out of your saucer, for instance?) and much might be written about the subsidiary uses of tealeaves, such as telling fortunes, predicting the arrival of visitors, feeding rabbits, healing burns and sweeping the carpet. It is worth paying attention to such details as warming the pot and using water that is really boiling, so as to make quite sure of wringing out of one's ration the twenty good, strong cups of that two ounces, properly handled, ought to represent.

Tennis Update

It's a huge afternoon for British tennis as Andy Murray attempts to take the Queens Club Championship which is seen as the preliminary to Wimbledon. He would be the first British player to win it since 1938 and we'd like to say that the Painter's Chronicle will be behind him all the way. Check back later for Match Analysis.

Political Comedy Week - JibJab

While not so much directly political, this amusing video is a critique on the large retailers in america, of which the the most obvious is Wall-Mart. I hope you enjoy.

Political Comedy Week - Spitting Image

A throwback to the 80s, Spitting Image was a satirical puppet program which ran for much of the 1980s and 90s. Never equalled since in both its cutting and often crude satirism and occasional moments of deep comments on our society.

The program made many heavy criticisms of the Thatcher and then Major governments in it's time and provided entertainment to a huge audience.
It politicized a great mass of people in its time, even if just by turning government ministers into slugs and cyborgs.

This particular clip mocks Maggie Thatcher's policy of selling council houses to the tune of 'Our house' by Madness.

Political Comedy Week - Political Science

Todays video is not so much obvious comedy, but is definitely political, and very funny if you actually consider the message it is conveying. It's a song called "Political Science" by Randy Newman, which is a stinging critique on the Bush-era foriegn policy of America.

Anyway, see what you think. Please leave comments.

Hope Not Hate - Not In My Name

As you probably know, on Sunday the BNP were elected to two seats in the European Parliament. It was a terrible day for Britain - the idea that we are sending two fascists to Europe to represent us, doesn't bear thinking about.

However, we must think about it if we are to stand against this growing threat to British civil values and freedoms. We mustn't allow apathy to hold the door open for the BNP. On July 14th, the two elected BNP MEP's Griffin and Brons will be taking their seats in the first session of the European Parliament. To meet them will be the campaigners for the anti-fascist group, "Hope not hate," to hand them a petition from the British public with a simple message: not in my name.

I am therefore asking you all, as I have done, to sign the petition, and join the 40,000 who have already done so. We need to tell the BNP that they weren't elected in our names. They won due to a breakdown in the mainstream parties vote - not because of an influx of new voters. We need to tell Griffin that we, the people of Britian, don't support him, or his racist views.

Before the elections, it was predicted that the BNP may have won 4, 5 or even 6 seats. When the expenses scandal blew in, the BNP predicted that they would take 12. Hope not hate managed to stop that. Now, a new campaign begins, a campaign to stop the BNP before they get any further. The BNP have gained their first elected positions. It must be their last.

Please sign the petition, and tell the BNP that it's not in your name.

http://action.hopenothate.org.uk/page/s/notinmyname

Thank you,

Chairman Rose

The Other Side

Although this newsletter has an extremely anti BNP slant I think it is necessary to present both sides of the story so our readers can form a more balanced view on this topic. Although the BNP are viewed as vile fascists (and not wrongly) they are, however much it pains the moderate majority, representing very real grievances and prejudices. Many believe that to stop the BNP they should be banned and not be allowed to express their views. This is understandable but would be a big mistake.

Taking a look at their manifesto shows us some interesting points. One example is that they want “Britain to withdraw from the EU” also they state that there should be “British jobs for British workers”. Now although both of these are quite extreme points compared to the other parties do we really think the public don’t support these ideas, especially the working classes in times of recession? So what does this show? It could be argued on one hand that the public were misled into believing these promises but much more likely is that the BNP are actually giving those on the fringe of society a say, and it works. It is a triumph to democracy that the moderates have joined forces in some areas to stop the BNP by targeting the root cause of why people voted for the party. This means that voters are offered better solutions than simply blaming their problems on immigrants. In short the question is whether it is the party that makes the voters or the voters that make the party what it is. It is a bit of both but by tackling the BNP voters who aren’t total racists (which are many, lots of whom merely see no hope of finding a job, and account for much of it’s recent growth) the political system naturally takes people back to the central ground and leaves those left, isolated on the fringes.

In conclusion our democracy is built on debate, but we must first accept others views are not unfounded before they can be challenged. In this way our democratic process becomes more vibrant as parties in the centre fight to tackle the problems that caused voters to sway to the extreme right. It’s democracy in action. This is why we must accept that the system we have chosen can pick vile candidates but at the same time through debate and compromise and understanding they are diluted and challenged yet don’t leave a portion of society (however awful their views) feeling ignored and angry. That is the place in our system for the BNP. To give the extremists a view which can then be challenged and understood and tackled at the root, which is voter’s problems. We may not like it but the BNP should stay.

Comments Essential-What do you think?