Friday, 30 April 2010

Beth's Mighty Trek!

Painter's Chronicle subscripient Beth Paramor will very shortly be taking part in a wonderful life experience, but to do this she needs to raise a rather hefty sum. Beth is one of the original PC subscripients and is a top person who is very enthusiastic and committed to causes such as this. Have a read below and see what Beth is setting out to do and if you can support her in anyway, I am sure Beth would be extremely grateful. 

"This coming August, I, along with 50 other people from the University of Nottingham will be trekking the Great Wall of China for an amazing charity called ChildReach who aim to provide sustainable solutions for children in developing countries, leading to self sufficiency.

In order to do this trek, I need to fundraise £2200, half of which goes directly to ChildReach, and half which goes towards getting me to China and keeping me alive when I'm there. If anyone has any spare money lying around, be it £1 or £20, any sponsors would be very very much appreciated. You can sponsor online at

As little as £16 provides a child with books vital to their learning, supporting them throughout their entire primary education, so as you can see, even the smallest amounts help. Thank you very much."

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Manshackle: Issue One

I hope you enjoy this fantastic comic from Freddy Vinehill-Cliffe as much as we did (Click to enlarge).

Pink Elephant Fish - Upcoming Gig

The official band of The Painter's Chronicle, Pink Elephant Fish have yet another gig coming up very shortly at The Muni Theatre in Colne. Once again the guys will be performing along side the highly popular Souled Out Band. All funds raised from ticket sales will go to the Great Generation Project ran by Calder VI Form.

The gig promises to be another memorable occasion, in an absolutely fantastic venue; The Muni Theatre. In terms of sound and atmosphere, the Muni is well renowned throughout the north of England. 2 great bands, 1 great project where the funds will be donated too and one top night!

Let's get a Painter's Chronicle contingent over there on the 14th May, 19.30 and support the guys and the Great Generation Project.

For further information email

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

Simpson's Snacks

Chocolate Mars Bar Cake in a Cup

4 tbsp of plain flour
4 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp cocoa powder
1 egg
3 tbsp milk
3 tbsp vegetable or sunflower oil
a small mars bar (chopped up)

1.Put all of the dry ingredients into a microwave safe mug.
2.Add the egg and mix together then add all the rest of the ingredients.
3.Stir and cook for 3.5 minutes (in a 600W microwave)
4.Let it cool a bit and EAT :)

Megan Simpson 

Monday, 26 April 2010

Desert Island Discs Update: First Castaway Announced!

Well subscripients, it's the moment I know you've all been waiting for. Yesterday I pulled the first of what I hope to be a great many names from my fez, and Lady Luck decreed that our first castaway shall be...

Freddy Vinehill-Cliffe!

As one of my new team of innovative renaissance web-contributors, and not to mention the frontman of the prolific local band The Frontier Psychiatrists (, I'm sure Freddy's choices will be a pleasure for us all, and I trust you anticipate them as much as I do! Though Freddy is yet to make an appearance on the site, his first post should be up very soon, and I have the utmost faith that it shall meet the unforgivably high standards of the Painter's Chronicle and her subsripients.

Until next time,

Callum MacRae
Website Manager - Painter's Chronicle E-Magazine

Painter's Journey Post

As I sit here on the East Coast Train Service to Leeds relaxing and listening to some tunes by Talking Heads and drinking away on a Starbuck's finest hot chocolate I thought i'd use the time wisely. No, not completing overdue coursework but adding another completely random blog post to  

This weeks subject...Facebook and Communication.

It's rather incredible when you consider how many people use social networking website Facebook nowadays. I've always realised that it's a rapidly expanding website where more and more people are joining every minute, but not until recently has it struck me what people use it for and also the calibre of people too. Over the last few months I have consistently increased my network of contacts, people of all ages and backgrounds and I would say at least 90% access Facebook. But not only do they use it as a tool to communicate with their nearest and dearest, but many other uses come on the back of it. Five years ago would you consider creating business relationships over a social networking website? Would you ever think to advertise your services to your 'friends'? (Cue the jokes and sniggers) Would you take (on average) 2 hours out of your day to day life to communicate with friends and work colleagues? Many of which you're likely to have seen or would have been able to see that very day. I think a resounding 'No' will be the answer there to all three statements. Society has changed, is that a good thing? I don't know.

Is it really necessary to text in what you're doing every half an hour to share with your friendship circle? Joe Bloggs is "On the bus to town to meet Muriel". Do we need to know? Do you need to tell us? Is the world going to crash and burn if we don't communicate every little detail to one another? No. But yet we do it. Now don't get me wrong, I very regularly update my Facebook status, but why is this? Is it to fit in with the crowd? Is it because I really want everyone to know that i'm "on the train home from London"? I don't think it's either, personally, I feel it is becoming a necessary daily activity, purely out of habit, and the more we read about each other in this format, the more we will continue to communicate in this way.

My final point in a rather short written summary, is, when does someone become your Facebook friend? I'm sure i'm not the only person who experiences people classing me as a friend on an almost daily basis over Facebook. I really am flattered, but how do I know you? "John Smith has added you as a friend on Facebook". Well, I can see they have 40 friends in common with me, I recognise them from their picture, they're in my arts and crafts class actually! But wait, we've never actually spoken to one another despite having several opportunites, and yet you'd like to share personal information and pictures? Says it all really...

Communication is the greatest tool in life, but the way in which we use it is rapidly changing. Don't let the power of verbal conversation and face to face confrontation disappear, the world around us really will become a darker place. We've lost many things in this world, please don't let us lose another.
Anyway, that's my first "Painter's Jounrey Post". I'll be doing these on a fortnightly basis from now on, so every Monday morning, logon and read about what's on my mind that particular day. Hopefully they'll give you all food for thought.

Really must dash now, I have two status updates to read and Twitter is waiting...

Thursday, 22 April 2010

The PC Through The Ages

Whilst sitting on my velvet armchair last night, reading one of my many leather bound books with a glass of finest Scotch I came across this little quote from Immanuel Kant:

    ‘All our knowledge begins with the senses, proceeds then to the understanding, and ends with the             Painter’s Chronicle. There is nothing higher than the Painter’s Chronicle.’

A little follow up reading soon uncovered a whole host of unknown subscripients, from all ages and all walks of life, they all have one thing in common: a passion for the PC. Over the coming months I will be publishing a variety of quotes from different historical figures, so keep logging on to find out who else shared a secret passion for the Chronicle!

If anyone else happens to stumble across a well-known man or woman expressing their appreciation for the PC, don't hesitate to send them over to at once!

Until next time,

Callum MacRae
Website Manager - Painter's Chronicle E-Magazine
Tel: 07970 440 467

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

Soviet Pop!

When most people think of the USSR they think of genocide, oppression and poverty, but Eduard Khil is here to change our minds with this non-lexical version of 'I Am Glad I'm Finally Going Home' (Я очень рад, ведь я, наконец, возвращаюсь домой)

Monday, 19 April 2010

Photography Competition

Okay, so it's spring time and the sun is out, creating beautiful scenes...

So I want you to get some photos of nature in its full beauty and send them in for this month's competition, and I will pick the best to appear in next month's post.

Please send your entries in an e-mail entitled 'PC Photography Competiton' to

Good Luck!
Fay Bland

Thursday, 15 April 2010

Pace Egg Thanks

Another year, another Good Friday and another fantastic Pace Egg Play. I’d like to take this opportunity to say some heartfelt thank you’s to all who helped make this day a huge success once again.

First of all, a huge well done and thank you to the cast themselves for entertaining the Calder Valley throughout the day; it takes a certain type of person who'll step up and perform like that 'on the street', to such an expectant crowd, keeping them enthralled, yet sticking to this most traditional of scripts. Firstly, a hearty thanks to Mr. Stephen Ball and Mrs. Jill Leicester for their continuing support during the rehearsal and preparation process. I’d also like to thank all the guest doctors who were unwillingly dragged from the crowd to participate in our Easter shenanigans, they really added to the humour of the performance and we appreciate their spontaneous drama skills. To Linda Helliwell we owe a huge thank you, without her we would just be a group of oddly dressed thespians standing on a Mytholmroyd pavement. Thanks to her we had a minibus to drive us round on our haphazard tour. A thank you must go out to Robert Holme KBE for his help with prop management and vocal coaching. Sol Cotton and Fran Robinson were both at hand with their cameras on the day, and because of that many pictures and videos are available for us as a cast to look back on as well as the general public too. Throughout Good Friday, we were accompanied and mothered by one Mrs. Ruth Roebuck. Her kindly, compassionate attitude meant she could cope with the Pace Egg rabble and help us through the day, a massive thank you to you, Mrs. Roebuck. Leading up to the day, we were exposed throughout many local and national media affiliations; without them our audience numbers wouldn’t be half as big. Finally, the biggest thank you of all goes to all who turned out to watch us make traditional fools of ourselves once again. See you next year!

This year we raised a total of £575; this will be split between two local charities; Overgate Hospice and the Great Generation Project.

Sam Harris

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Ask Mrs Smith...

Hello Subscripients,

Welcome to my fortnightly agony aunt feature. I am here to solve all your problems, no matter how big or small! So all you have to do to receive my expert help and advice is to send your problems or queries to and our new web manager will pass on all your e-mails to me. All problems chosen to be published on the site will be anonymous.

Hope to hear from you soon,
Mrs Smith.

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

Ask The Team!

Well, there does seem to be a lot of them cropping up these days, but here's just one more way for you subscripients to get involved with the Painter's Chronicle Website!

The idea is that you e-mail in a subject (any subject you like; it could be quantum physics, it could be the upcoming election, it could be jam) and 'The Team', namely Billy, Joe, Isaac and myself, will each write a paragraph on said subject, and post it on the website. If there is enough support from all of you,  we may even make this a regular feature!

So I urge you all to get thinking and send in a subject to Looking forward to your replies, and thanking you in advance,

Callum MacRae
Website Manager - Painter's Chronicle E-Magazine

Monday, 12 April 2010

The PC - Join The Adventure!

Those of you have read past Painter's Chronicle editions and regularly logged onto the website on a regular basis will soon be able to realise that the Painter's Chronicle is not a 'one trick pony', it is instead a place where variety can be found; a little like Woolworth's used to be ... (RIP). We have just about every topic covered.

However, we're always looking to expand further and add more to our long list of topics; as well as get more people involved in the project...

If YOU feel you can contribute something to the Painter's Chronicle e-Magazine or the website, we'd be delighted to hear from you. There are no barriers set in place to block certain calibres of articles; we will welcome just about anything. Long or Short. Comical or Serious. Fiction or Non-Fiction.

Email with your ideas and suggestions and hopefully we can accomodate you in the upcoming editions and web releases. We hope to hear from you soon.

I'm So Tired

The song, I'm So Tired by John Lennon is rather amusing, because he wrote it when he was hideously bored and missing Yoko Ono at three in the morning in an Indian retreat. He was probably rather tired.

Saturday, 10 April 2010

The Painter's Chronicle Desert Island Discs

Hello Subscripients!
This is another exciting chance for you to get involved with the PC, and broaden your musical and literary horizons!

The idea is that those interested in participating will enter their names into a hat, from which I will pull one name each month. Whosever name comes out of the hat will list five albums and one book that they would take with them to a desert island if they were sentenced to a life of isolation there, accompanied by a brief justification of their choices. However, this feature will only work if there is enough subscripient participation so whatever your musical and literary taste, whether subscripient or contributor, I urge you all to get involved so we can get this exciting project off the ground!

If you are interested in applying please send an e-mail entitled 'PC DID Feature' to with your name. Thanks very much, and congratulations, for your amazing feat of 1000 views this week! Hoping to see entries from you all soon,

Callum MacRae
Website Manager - Painter's Chronicle E-Magazine

The Painters Chronicle

As the director said in his statement below, it has come back - quite literally - with a bang.

Robert Holme KBE

Painter's Post - 2 Landmarks, 1 Week!

Blimey! What a bang the PC has come back with!

After weeks on end with very few posts on the website, the hit counter was slowly and slowly stopping; a little like Bruce Forsyth! However, with the PC Renaissance, led by Joe and Callum, now in full flight the website that was once viewed on a daily basis by many has now reached two wonderful landmarks in the space of a week.

Firstly, after around a year in existence the Painter's Chronicle website has accumulated a total of 15,000 hits; an average of around 45 daily. Secondly, in the last week alone, the total hits for has been...wait for it...1000! This is by far the biggest peak the PC website has had since it's arrival last year. The PC really is coming back to its glory days, and quite clearly starting to appeal to a new brand of subscripient, as well as continuing to serve the old.

The support of everyone has been brilliant since the arrivals of Joe and Callum a few weeks ago, and I am delighted that everyone is getting behind them and the new editorial team. From the inside information I have managed to pinch from them, I believe we're all in for a very exciting, enjoyable and different Spring Edition with some new and innovative ideas already being included.

Callum tells me that more competitions and regular features for the website are also imminent, with some more to be announced as soon as this weekend. So watch this space...

On the subject of competitions and features, don't forget that Joe's 'Election Poster Competition' is currently running. This is a great opportunity to show off with some political whit as well as stand a chance to win a mystery grand prize; something not to be missed! Get entering now people! I already have!

Well, that's all from me for now. Your support has been excellent so far, keep going and lets all get behind Joe and Callum and usher in the PC's next phase. The PC Renaissance.


Friday, 9 April 2010

Friday's Recipe

Not that this is a tradition, nor will it every be - I suddenly had the urge to write down my newest recipe. Besides being a professional poet I am also a part time chef at Buckingham Palace. Well no, that's an outrageous lie, but I do sometimes cook things for myself.

I hit upon this while indulging myself on yes, you guessed it, chocolate. The drink of the Aztecs, the food of the gods, this bittersweet brown substance has been the cause of empire and the bane of nations. No, that's perhaps not historically accurate. But chocolate is one of the British's secret pleasures. One of those ones of the not so secret kind.

Anyway, fusing my Anglo-French influences (my father was half Quebecois) I created something of pure delight. Toast an English muffin. Butter it. Put three squares of dark chocolate (72% cocoa mass) inside it. Fold it over. Eat it. Experience enlightenment.

Robert Holme

Thursday, 8 April 2010




Wednesday, 7 April 2010


After attempting to create the "best chocolate drink ever" I found myself feeding just under half of it to the plants. The lesson I have learnt? Chocolate is okay in moderation, but never trust your eyes (or your nose) when it comes to quantifying amounts. You will think you can eat more than you can. Now I feel sick.

Robert Holme

Tuesday, 6 April 2010

The Painter's Chronicle Announce New Partnership

The Painter's Chronicle are delighted to announce a new partnership that will see Calder Valley based band, Pink Elephant Fish become the second band to be officially sponsored by the PC. Pink Elephant Fish are relatively new on to the scene and are rapidly becoming well known by the Calder Valley community; especially by the younger generation.

On hearing about the new link, Painter's Chronicle Director, Billy Painter branded the partnership as, "Another great link that brings two local establishments together, supporting one another with their chosen mode of entertainment".

"Pink Elephant Fish play some excellent music and are a band composing of five extremely talented and entertaining musicians, we are proud to be associated with them"

Keep logging onto for further announcements on any upcoming events involving Pink Elephant Fish.

Sunday, 4 April 2010

Easter - An Acrostic Poem by Robert Holme

Remembering how much you all enjoyed by Christmas Poem, I thought I'd write another for Easter.

Eggs, which are laid by Rabbits
Annunciation, which is what happened to Mary before she gave birth to Jesus, who died at Easter
Spring, which usually occurs around Easter
Time, which oft follows "spring" to make "springtime"
Easter, the subject of this poem
Royal- Christ is believed by some to be King

Build your own Election Poster! Prizes up for grabs!


So who's face will lead your campaign?
On this site:
You can create your own poster, with your own picture, or just offend current party leaders!
You can produce posters from a template on the site above, for either Labour, Conservative or Liberal Democrats. There is also the option of David Cameron's face, which has been used above.
Copy and paste your creations and send them in an email to
The Top five or so will appear on our website, and in the magazine itself.
If there are enough entries, there will be a grand prize for the very best, and you'll get a special spot on the site to show off your genius!
Here are a few examples to get you going, and have fun!

So I hope that has inspired you, have fun, and Good Luck!

Thanks to Sol Cotton for finding this site, The Painter's Chronicle has no permission or copyright on any of this material, but to whoever created this site (Andy Barefoot?) you are a genius! You are welcome to free Painter's Chronicle merchandise for 'allowing' us to use your slogan generator.

The New Editors

Hi Everyone,

As you may know, Billy Painter has stepped down from his post as Editor of The Painter’s Chronicle, and I have been selected to replace him. This huge and pretty exciting task is one that I hope to make a good job of, and enjoy too whilst doing it!

Listed in the left hand margin are some new editions to the team that will be working to produce the Spring Issue; the Chronicle will now be released by season. There will be loads of new articles for you to enjoy: factual, random, and controversial - the PC will have it all!

Also new to the Chronicle team is our Website Manager, Callum MacRae; he will be co-ordinating the website and launching some exciting new competitions, such as story writing and photography, so hunt out your lucky socks!

The old PC Board (Billy, Isaac Johnny and Calum) will still stay involved as they are now officially the ‘Painter’s Chronicle Honorary Board’, so you can still expect to hear from them every now and then.

The launch of the upcoming Spring issue will be May Day (3rd May) and will be available by e-mail or through our website.

In the meantime, I hope you all have a lovely Easter, and you can keep in touch with the Chronicle via the website, our Facebook page, or by email (

I'd also like to take this opportunity to tell you about some exciting new developments, On our site you can see the full details, but we have a great new competition running, with prizes up for grabs, and also in the spring Chronicle, we will be running a "ask the (old) Editor!" If you have any questions for Billy, Please email them to and you could see them answered in the mag!
That's all from me this time, I hope you have a lovely Easter break,
Joe Cotton
Editor - The Painter’s Chronicle
Hello Subscripients,

My name is Callum MacRae, and as I’m sure you have gathered, I have been placed in charge of the website for the upcoming Painter’s Chronicle Renaissance. Listed just underneath the list of new contributors to the left is a list of the new confirmed web contributors. However, we’re still in need of, and more than happy to accept, more, so if anyone is interested in perhaps contributing in any way shape or form, don’t hesitate to get in touch at!

As mentioned by our new editor Joe Cotton, I have made plans for the site; hoping to maintain some of the old features (such as the regular recipes and regular videos) as well as introducing some brand new ones of my own. I hope to introduce a new focus on the subscripient, with various competitions and opportunities for you all to get involved and if anyone has any ideas for possible features, or can remember any past web features they were particularly fond of, please let me know.

Some more detailed posts should be appearing on here soon concerning the renaissance, and in a few weeks should be well on its way to being restored to its former glory!

Callum MacRae,
Website Manager - The Painter's Chronicle

Friday, 2 April 2010

The Good Friday Pace Egg

This years Pace Egg was a great success, with the calder high team entertaing folks all over the valley. Unforunately, this was the last time we'll be seeing Dario Coates- Saint george, and Tom man- Tosspot, perform in the play, but both left in style! The mixed and motley mob were as follows:

                         Kieran Bell as The Fool

                Dario Coates as Saint George

                  Sam Harris as Bold Slasher

                               Jack Deighton as The Doctor

                      Rowan Carter as The Black Prince

               Jacob Jones as The King of Egypt

                          Joe Cotton as Hector

                           Thomas man as Tosspot

Throughout the show, Saint George battles many foes:

And we'll come no more to you until the next year!

Photo's were taken throughout the day, for the full folder, email

Thursday, 1 April 2010

Pace Egg 2010

So tomorrow is the big day for our Pace Eggers, who will be boldly continuing the traditional performance (albeit with a few more modern tweaks) in the Calder Valley. The Painter's Chronicle wishes them all the best of luck, with all nine performances! Special thanks go to Clara Collett for organising the performance, and Billy Painter for arranging the nights out.

Above: The Full Cast pose for a photo after their final warm up performance on Friday 26th March

Pace Egg Running Order
8:45 Banksfield Estate
9:30 Todmorden
10:15 Mytholmroyd
11:00 Holme Street
11:30 St George's Square
12:45 Marina
1:30 Luddenden
2:05 Midgley
3:00 Heptonstall

Left: The Team perform at the local junior school, Riverside, just before the rain starts.

All the best to: Dario Coates, Sam Harris, Kieran Bell, Rowan Carter, Jack Deighton, Jacob Jones, Joe Cotton, Tom Deadman, Clara Collett and Jess Woodhead ~ Have a great time!